here, have some personal bitching:

i am the most frustrated right now. i can’t find any really good 2012 sources for this speech, or even 2011 for that matter. all the sources i have are kind of weak, and i could really use more. since the last time i researched, the organization my speech is on redesigned their website and its now really sparse on info and v. difficult to navigate and generally pretty unhelpful. and all the “news” they cite is from like, ‘08. for real, that is the most not helpful. i need nowness, man.

also, i do not know how to be casual or colloquial and still smart at the same time. as soon as i start talking about heavy shit i get all cold and formal and academic. and that is just not relatable at all. i need to be relatable.

i’m so tired and i’ve been working my ass off all day. i need to do homework and i want to edit my multi-scene fiction, because all my peer reviews in class today were like “uh, is this finished?” and i kind of just had to be like “well, no, not really.” but i just haven’t had the time or energy to really work on it.

i’m still sick and i just want to sleep and i practically can’t eat at all. i’m serious when i say i’m living on cheerios right now because everything else makes me feel really nauseous. i need to smoke weed, because that seems to be the only thing that’s helping, but i don’t have any right now and i don’t have money to spend on it. ditto money to go see my doctor. 

someone please assist me in being a functioning human being again, because i’ve gotten really bad at it.